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The Healing Power of Creative Mourning: Poems

Click cover to enlarge.

By: Jan Yager, Fred Yager

$26.95 hardcover

$17.95 trade paperback

The Healing Power of Creative Mourning: Poems by J. Yager, F. Yager, S. Yager, Barkas, and Orr (2000)

Cover photograph by Jeff Yager

An anthology of original poems on dealing with dying, death, grief, and mourning that includes an introduction about how creativity can help mourning as well as an epilogue on coping with grief. "A remarkable and memorable anthology of poems:addressing the universal themes of coping with illness, death, grief, loss, and bereavement..."

—Midwest Book Review

Detailed Information

Preface vii

Part I:
Coping With Illness, Death, and Grief
Poems by Jan Yager
Daddy, Don't Die  3
My Daddy Died Today  7
Getting Used to Life Without My Daddy  15
I Saved a Moth Today  20
Missing You  22
Holidays Are Hard  29
Trying to Get Along with Morn  35
My Late Brother's Son Turns Thirty Today  40
Goodbye, Dr. Leeds, My Psychological Guru  45
A Post-Grief (and Angry) Second Goodbye  53
Farewell, John, John Brave Little Boy,  59
Man-Hero to Millions
Ode to My Unborn Child  65

Part II:  69
Coping With War
Poems by Fred Yager
Silenced By a Bomb  71
Cold Day in Summer  72
We Won't Go  75

Part III:  77
Mourning
Poems by Priscilla Orr
An Odd Elegy for My Mom  79
Grief  81

Part IV: 83
Untitled
A Poem by Seth Alan Barkas
Untitled 85

PartV: 93

Coping with the Loss of a Grandparent

A Poem by Scott Yager

When Grandpa Came Over 95

Epilogue: Coping With Grief  97
Selected Bibliography  102
Resources  105
About the Authors  108

Published or Reader Reviews

"A remarkable and memorable anthology of poems The Healing Power Of Creative Mourning is a remarkable and memorable anthology of poems by Jan Yager, Fred Yager, Priscilla Orr, Seth Alan Barkas, and Scott Yager addressing the universal themes of coping with illness, death, grief, loss, and bereavement..."

—MIDWEST BOOK REVIEW

"The Preface to this collection deals with the way that creativity can help someone through the grieving process.

Topics covered in the poems include dealing with the death of a mother, father, brother, grandfather, friend, therapist, John F. Kennedy Jr., the holidays after a loved one dies; the Vietnam War; and more.

The Epilogue discusses coping with grief as well as selected references and a life of web sites that help and information about grieving."

—http://www.griefnet.org

"A truly wonderful book escorting the reader into the emotional lives of those who grieve. The authors invite the reader into the very private world of their own mourning. In the process we discover the common ground of our own mourning - and the ties that can I invite us all through the creative sharing of grief."

—John G. Murphy, Ph.D., Executive Director, Friends of Karen, Inc

"I read this book for the second time this week and found the poems honest and open about the pain experienced by the authors. Having lost both my parents and a brother, I found myself connecting with their feelings and dealing with my own. It inspired me to write my own thoughts and experiences surrounding death which proved to be a catalyst in my own healing."

—speaker and author Suzanne Vaughan

Listed at the The Menstuff® library.
http://www.menstuff.org/books/byissue/poetry.html

Book Excerpt

"Farewell, John, John, Brave Little Boy, Man-Hero to Millions" by J. Yager

To read the poem, go to:
http://www.janyager.com/writing/Farewell,%20John,%20John-Poem.htm

"Grief"

"Grief"*By Priscilla Orr

*Excerpted, with permission, from The Healing Power of Creative Mourning: Poems, pages 81-82 (Hannacroix Creek Books, Inc., 2000). This poem originally appeared in Jugglers and Tides: Poems by Priscilla Orr. (Hannacroix Creek Books, Inc., 1997) All rights reserved. Available at your favorite local or online bookstore. May not be reprinted or reproduced without written permission of its copyright holder. Contact: hannacroix@aol.com.

In winter, the Chinook winds lifted snow
from the bushes and deposited it
outside our basement apartment window.
These drifts blocked the evening sun
but for one fragment of light spilled
into the living room. I could hear
the cab door slam, your boots crunch
up the walk. After the snowfall—
ruts, dog urine, boot prints all froze.
Before attempting suicide, my friend
told me a memory: she is a child folded
into a living room curtain. She peers
through the venetian blind into the dark
waiting for the orphan wagon - the man
in crepe soled shoes who steps towards her.
They have shut your eyes, wiped the vomit
from your lips. While I sit next to your bed
a few drops of blood on the sheet turn brown
as they dry. You have quieted yourself,
my slack-faced angel; the mild night wind
fills the room as your cheek begins to cool.

"Preface" by Fred Yager and Jan Yager*

*This Preface is excerpted, with permission, from The Healing Power of Creative Mourning: Poems by Jan Yager, Fred Yager, Priscilla Orr, Seth Alan Barkas, and Scott Yager (Hannacroix Creek Books, Inc., 2000). All rights reserved. This Preface may not be publisher, reposted, printed, or altered in anyway whatsoever without the written permission of the copyright holders or Hannacroix Creek Books, Inc. (Contact the permissions department for further information: hannacroix@aol.com).
Disclaimer: The purpose of this Preface is to provide inspiration, information, and opinions on the topic covered. It is shared with the understanding that the publisher and the authors are not engaged in rendering psychological, medical, sociologist, artistic, grief counseling, or other professional services.

The healing power of creative mourning comes from our ability to breathe life into feelings about terminal illness, death, or loss. It works like this: someone close to you is seriously ill, dying, or dies, and that loss is so overwhelming, you're afraid to feel the pain associated with it. However, by cutting off these feelings, you're actually increasing the possibility that you are making yourself ill. Emotional understanding is the missing link in the mind-body connection. By failing to feel the pain and associating the feelings with the grief and loss, you send your body into a tailspin. Biochemicals that are released into your system can create havoc when uncontrolled. Chemical reactions that should have caused tears, and the cathartic cleansing of those tears, instead can cause nausea, migraines, ulcers, depression, overeating (or the opposite, loss of appetite), insomnia (or, the reverse, sleepiness or inertia), and even cancer.

Fortunately, creativity is one way to help you overcome your fear of feeling the pain associated with terminal illness, death, loss, and grief. Let's face it: nobody really likes to feel pain, except for a few masochists. But by feeling the pain, especially at the time the illness or the death of a loved one is occurring, you increase the likelihood of dealing with those feelings, and going on, without short- or long-term physical or emotional consequences. (Or, if you have put off dealing with these feelings when the illness or loss occurred, you can still gain the benefits of the emotional catharsis by feeling those feelings even if it's weeks, months, or years later.)

You might want to think of pain this way. Physical pain is the body's way of alerting you to a problem that needs attention. Emotional pain acts the same way, but the treatment for it is different. Surgery is obviously not an option for emotional pain, although it may work for physical pain. Prescription drugs are also less of an option for emotional pain since it may only cover up the symptoms of your emotional pain as well as failing to deal with its cause. Pills may help the immediate pain to temporarily go away, but you still need to deal with your emotions; for most, it is beneficial to face, feel, and overcome what's causing you to feel this emotional pain.

A way to heal emotional pain is to first feel it, then gain power over it through creativity. Creativity can help to fill the emotional void caused by a loss. It empowers you as you take that loss, whether it's because of terminal illness, death, or separation, and create something from it. That something can be a poem, an essay, a story, a painting, a drawing, or a song. Just think of all the great operatic arias, blues, rock, or country and western songs that deal with loss like Eric Clapton's mournful yet uplifting "Tears From Heaven."

Creativity is also our secret weapon against death. While all of us are going to die someday, we can all write, whether a few lines in a diary or journal, a memoir, a poem, or even a letter, creating something that will last forever.

Have you ever gone into a movie theater and found yourself moved to tears by what you see on the screen? When you come out, you actually feel refreshed, invigorated by the experience of letting yourself feel. The poems in this book are designed to have a similar effect. Each in its own way may trigger a cathartic tear or two, which will help you get in touch with the blocked emotions that could be making you sick.

Read the collection straight through or, if you are inspired to pick up a pen, or turn on your computer or your tape recorder, and write (or record) a poem of your own, follow that creative impulse, returning to this collection when you finish your own creation.

But whether or not you write your own poetry, there is a cathartic benefit to reading the poems of others. They're also meant to entertain, like a good blues ballad. So sit back and enjoy the healing power of creative mourning.

About the Authors

Jan Yager

Jan Yager, Ph.D. (the former J.L./Janet Barkas) is a writer, sociologist, consultant, professional speaker, artist, and publishing entrepreneur whose areas of expertise include relationships and business issues including time management and work relationships. Jan's first book published by Hannacroix Creek Books, Inc., Friendshifts®, based on fifteen years of original friendship research, led to interviews on The Oprah Winfrey Show, The Today Show, The View , National Public Radio, and other programs. Other books include When Friendship Hurts (published by Simon & Schuster, Inc.) as well as two career books by Facts on File, Inc. A prolific writer of fiction as well as nonfiction whose books have been translated into 14 languages, she is co-author of two suspense thrillers, Untimely Death and Just Your Everyday People. For more information, go to: www.drjanyager.com.

Click here to find more books by Jan Yager

Fred Yager

Fred Yager is a business television producer, communications executive, and screenwriter as well as the author of six nonfiction and fiction titles including the novels Rex and Cybersona and co-author of two career books published by Facts on File, Inc.: Career Opportunities in the Publishing Industry and Career Opportunities in the Film Industry. Fred grew up in a small town in upstate New York with Hannacroix Creek flowing right behind his family's house. He has lived in Texas, California, New York City, and, since 1990, in Fairfield County, Connecticut with his wife Jan and their two grown sons. Fred's previous jobs include 13 years at the Associated Press as a reporter, entertainment writer and film critic, and 14 years at Merrill Lynch including seven years in charge of their business television division. In addition to his book and screenwriting projects, Fred runs his own communications company, World News and Information Network, Inc.

Click here to find more books by Fred Yager

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Foreign, Subsidiary, and Film Rights

For inquiries about English reprint or translation rights for other languages, please direct your inquiries to:
foreignrights@hannancroixcreekbooks.com (Fax: 203-968-0193)

To excerpt or reprint any portion of this title, contact the permissions or subsidiary rights department: subsidiaryrights@hannacroixcreekbooks.com or write to: Permissions Department
Hannacroix Creek Books, Inc.
1127 High Ridge Road, #110
Stamford, CT 06905-1203

For TV or film rights to the poems in The Healing Power of Creative Mourning, please contact:
Filmrights@hannacroixcreekbooks.com
Fax: 203-968-0193

Links of Interest

Compiled by Jan Yager, Ph.D. Checked 12/2008. Copyright © 2005, 2000 by Jan Yager, Ph.D. All rights reserved. Inclusion in this list does not imply an endorsement. Also, since addresses on the Internet and regular mailing addresses may change, and associations or companies may change names or emphasis at any time, the accuracy or the visual or written content of any of these listings cannot be vouched for or guaranteed. Please let us know if any information is out of date or incorrect.

Here is a selection of websites that offer articles, information, or referrals for dealing with grief and loss:

The Compassionate Friends, Inc.
P. O. Box 3696
Oak Brook, IL 60522-3696
http://www.compassionatefriends.org
A self-help organization, founded in Coventry, England in 1969, offering help to those who have experienced the death of a child. They sponsor an annual conference and have added networking and activities for siblings dealing with loss.

Griefnet.org
http://www.griefnet.org/
A non-profit corporation, Griefnet.org is an online community of those dealing with grief and loss directed by Cendra Lynn, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and grief educator. There are 60 e-mail support groups as well as two websites. Extensive bibliography references to a wide range of grief-related issues include book reviews of the listed titles.

SelfHelp Magazine
http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com
http://selfhelpmagazine.com/articles/loss/index.shtml
Website established in 1994 that offers information and suggestions for referrals to professional help. The second link listed above includes articles on dealing with loss and bereavement.

For more website resources, as well as a selected bibliography of books on coping with death and grief, read The Healing Power of Creative Mourning: Poems by Jan Yager, Fred Yager, Priscilla Orr, Seth Alan Barkas, and Scott Yager (Hannacroix Creek Books, Inc., 2000).

Media Kit

If you are a member of the media, click here to access the media kit including a press release, sample interview questions, and author bios.

To book any of the contributors to this anthology for a broadcast (TV or radio) or print (newspapers, magazine, or online publication) interview, or for an author event at a bookstore or library, send an e-mail to the publicity department at Hannacroix Creek Books: publicity@hannacroixcreekbooks.com or fax (203) 968-0193.

For speaker inquiries, contact your favorite speaker bureau or send an e-mail directly to: Hannacroix@aol.com

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